Sitting across the bar, staring right at her prey
It's going well so far, she's gonna get her way
Reading 
19th-Jul-2017 09:16 am
harpers_child: melaka fray reading from "Tales of the Slayers". (Default)
1. Dad had spine surgery on Monday. He's got rods from L4 to S1 now. He's doing well.

2. Sunday I indulged the stereotype and polished silver. Did mom's everyday teaspoons and the serving pieces out the china cabinet. Might do the place settings this afternoon.

3. Considering doing another round of PT. Not sure if I can be sent for the all of me. If I had to choose something it'd be my shoulders and wrists.
15th-Jul-2017 10:15 pm
harpers_child: melaka fray reading from "Tales of the Slayers". (Default)
Ugh. Migraine related desperation led me to take a pain pill that I know I react badly to. Now I have the minor urge to scratch off all my skin. The insides of my eyelids itch. Haven't broken out into hives so far, but that's a possibility. Took benadryl with it, but so far it hasn't helped (or maybe it has and that's why no hives).

Good side the migraine has died down enough I'll probably sleep tonight.

Why bodies, seriously.
14th-Jul-2017 08:11 pm
harpers_child: melaka fray reading from "Tales of the Slayers". (Default)
1. Mom has photos for sale in a local shop. The shop owner made requests for particular kinds of images. There was interest expressed in carrying other things we may do with the pictures like make note cards or necklaces or magnets.

2. I just placed an order for 2 dolls I've been wanting for a while. It's a larger size than I currently have. I feel confident that this won't be a problem since there are currently 4 dolls in SD size I want and Twigling makes 3 of them. (Well, 2 dolls and a head.) I'm getting an Elbe and a Gamine both in vivid skin. Between them I'll have a B bust, C bust, short hip, long hip, short legs, long legs, relaxed hands, and original hands. https://twigling.com/ if anyone is curious but not already into BJD.

3. I gave notice at my job on Wednesday. My last day is July 28th. I cited health as my reason for leaving. I debated trying to work something out with accommodations, but frankly there isn't enough room behind the new registers to put a stool to sit on.
11th-Jul-2017 09:01 pm
harpers_child: melaka fray reading from "Tales of the Slayers". (Default)
1. Tomorrow I go and give notice at my job. I don't have a new one. I just physically can no longer do the current one. Or won't after the 28th when kids camp is over and I'm back on register for 4-5 hours at a time.

2. I would love to know what I've done to my left shoulder. Right shoulder being angry and everything around the shoulder blade clenched up is terrible and annoying but I'm used to it. This knot on the edge of the left shoulder blade that shoots pain everywhere periodically is not okay. This migraine isn't helping.

3. Our A/C froze over last night. It still hasn't unfrozen all the way. Sleeping tonight is going to be interesting. We've turned the blower back on and it's cooler because the air is moving over the ice. I've been hanging out in my desk chair with an icepack (mostly on the shoulder situation). Fingers crossed the stupid thing will defrost tomorrow.

3a. I'd go over to mom's tomorrow, but they won't have power all day because several utility poles in the neighborhood need to be replaced.

3b. I'm whining but it hasn't gotten out of the 80s all day with the various fans going. Three cheers for mid-century architecture and my grandfather's thing for courtyards.
10th-Jul-2017 06:01 am
harpers_child: melaka fray reading from "Tales of the Slayers". (Default)
Dear body,
If you could stop with the mystery hurting I'd appreciate it. Also? I'd like to have a leg to stand on so if you could pick one leg to have all the joints go out on instead of this 2/3 of one leg 2/3 of the other it'd be nice.
No love,
Me.

This message has been brought to you by the mystery pain in my left shoulder. Which is probably caused by my subluxing said shoulder in my sleep two nights back and getting something pinched up. But it's really a "who knows" kind of situation.
7th-Jul-2017 11:31 pm
harpers_child: melaka fray reading from "Tales of the Slayers". (Default)
1. I'm going through a phase where I don't feel like posting anywhere because it feels like screaming into the void and never hearing even an echo. Which is, you know, probably indicative of depression but that's been my default state since I was like seven so I'm crap at spotting it.

2. I'm giving notice at my job next week. My joint issues have gotten bad enough I physically can't stand for 4 hours at a stretch. Or I mean I can bully myself through it, but I pay for the next several days and the agony isn't worth what I make an hour.

3. Every time I mention an idea to my mother about starting a business she wants me to go like a thousand percent right off the bat. For example: Helping kids do their school projects since I am a crafty person who can explain how to do a thing to kids and not all parents have those skill sets. I was thinking I'd make business cards, have relatives with school age kids tell their friends, and maybe put a sign in my front yard.
My mother wants me to rent a store front to operate out of. When I don't even know if people will really pay me for this or if it's something people just say to craft store employees. She says she'll help staff.

Is this just generation gap bullshit? Like my idea to start small and grow slowly seems like common sense. In a few years if the idea does well, then by all means upgrade to a dedicated space. I just...

There was a common theme when I was in therapy where I didn't want to be the kind of person that blamed their mother for things, but my mother is also the kind of person who doesn't always want to acknowledge where reality and what she wants to be reality diverge. Sometimes this is little things like she eats peas with mashed potatoes so of course all of her kids do. (2/3 do, but I've never voluntarily eaten a pea in my life. You'd think after 30 years she'd remember.) Sometimes it's stuff like not wanting to deal with how disabled 2/3 of her kids are. Or bullshit like "only one person in the house is allowed to be sick at a time" and how hurtful and harmful that is to whoever isn't the worst off. Or pretending like mental illness doesn't run on both sides of the family and maybe it'd be more useful to just deal with that instead of pretending otherwise.

And then I take a deep breath and try to remember that my mother's bullshit is her own. While we're the kind of (extended) family that is all up in each others' shit, I do not personally have to solve everyone else's bullshit. I only have to deal with my own.

... There really are days when I wish booze wasn't a migraine trigger so I could have a beer.
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